Written by Guest Contributor:
I don’t…….
look like,
dress like,
have as much money as,
have a home as big as,
go on vacations like,
have as many friends as,
have a career like,
Have a husband/boyfriend like,
have jewelry like,
have a body like,
have a car like,
I’m not as…….
popular as,
thin as,
athletic as,
smart as,
short as,
tall as
I don’t, I don’t, I don’t………I’m not, I’m not,
I’m not
If there is one thing I have learned in my 52
years on this earth, it’s to hold this quote in your heart and recite it to
yourself every single day.
I believe that for the most part, we are all
born optimistic, happy, and genuinely content. As we grow up, we compare
what we have and don’t have to those around us. It may start when we are tiny,
with toys and grows from there based on a bajillion factors. That’s okay
because starting TODAY that’s allllll in the past and we are going to put the
comparison game away for good by using some of these techniques :-)
yayyyyyyy!!!!
myself to others is a rotten thing to do to
yourself (and others) - it makes me feel quite a few emotions - none of them
very good.
According to Joshua Becker from “Becoming
Minimalist”, doing so “is a decision that only steals joy from our lives. And
is a habit with numerous shortcomings:”
1.
Comparisons are always
unfair. We typically compare the worst we know of
ourselves to the best we presume about others.
2.
Comparisons, by
definition, require metrics. But only a fool
believes every good thing can be counted (or measured).
3.
Comparisons rob us of
precious time. We each get 86,400
seconds each day. And using even one to compare yourself or your
accomplishments to another is one second too many.
4.
You are too unique to
compare fairly. Your gifts and
talents and successes and contributions and value are entirely unique to you
and your purpose in this world. They can never be properly compared to anyone
else.
5.
You have nothing to
gain, but much to lose. For example: your
pride, your dignity, your drive, and your passion.
6.
There is no end to the
possible number of comparisons. The habit can never
be overcome by attaining success. There will also be something—or someone—else
to focus on.
7.
Comparison puts focus
on the wrong person. You can control one
life—yours. But when we constantly compare ourselves to others, we waste
precious energy focusing on other peoples’ lives rather than our own.
8.
Comparisons often
result in resentment. Resentment towards
others and towards ourselves.
9. Comparisons deprive us of joy.
They add no value, meaning, or fulfillment to our lives. They only distract
from it.
So, as we look forward
to this bright and shiny new year, let’s remember my most favorite New Years
message:
Here are a few tips to writing your best story this coming year by NOT COMPARING YOURSELF TO ANYONE BUT YOURSELF
Make a list of your wonderful qualities and
things you have accomplished. No matter how big or small you have superpowers.
A Superpower can range from having the ability to make people around you feel
good to performing very difficult and life-saving surgery. BOTH are
equally important and both are wonderful.
Get out of competitive mode. A competitive
situation may arise (5K or a soccer game) but in general, life is not a
competition. Learn to be happy for the success and talent of others
instead of turning it into a shortcoming of your own. Feeling genuine
happiness for someone for being good at something, winning something or
excelling will make you feel good too!
Be grateful. Doing so makes you stop and
appreciate the wonderful things YOU have in YOUR life without taking into
account what anyone else has.
And as Joshua Becker so wonderfully puts it...
“Remind yourself nobody is perfect."
While focusing on the
negatives is rarely as helpful as focusing on the positives, there is important
space to be found remembering that nobody is perfect and nobody is living a
painless life. Triumph requires an obstacle to be overcome. And everybody is
suffering through their own, whether you are close enough to know it or not.”
I have only recently
found my Superpower and have stopped comparing myself to others. I worked
very hard, over the course of 25 years, to become very wealthy only to lose it
all in a blink. I went from a very important position with endless income
to someone who had to rebuild the lives of myself and my two daughters from
scratch. I have found that the money, the home, the clothing, the trips,
NONE OF IT MATTERS. And although I may now be one of the “poorest” people in my
circle financially, I am the richest in other ways. I have found that I
make people happy, I have powers that have nothing to do with the material
things that others who may be very wealthy do not have. They are mine alone and
make me feel better about myself than that big home and important job and
gigantic bank account.
Focus on being the
very best version of yourself, on making those around you happy which in turn
will spill tenfold into your life. The only person you should be
competing with is you :-) beautiful you.
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