Nobody Can Be Me!

 Written by Guest Contributor: 

I don’t…….
look like,
dress like,
have as much money as,
have a home as big as,
go on vacations like,
have as many friends as,
have a career like,
Have a husband/boyfriend like,
have jewelry like,
have a body like,
have a car like,

I’m not as…….
popular as,
thin as,
athletic as,
smart as,
short as,
tall as

I don’t, I don’t, I don’t………I’m not, I’m not, I’m not

If there is one thing I have learned in my 52 years on this earth, it’s to hold this quote in your heart and recite it to yourself every single day.  

I believe that for the most part, we are all born optimistic, happy, and genuinely content.  As we grow up, we compare what we have and don’t have to those around us. It may start when we are tiny, with toys and grows from there based on a bajillion factors.  That’s okay because starting TODAY that’s allllll in the past and we are going to put the comparison game away for good by using some of these techniques :-) yayyyyyyy!!!!

By-the-way, comparing ourselves to others does not make you strange, or defective or obsessed.  It is as human as any other emotion you may have. I know for a fact that comparing
myself to others is a rotten thing to do to yourself (and others) - it makes me feel quite a few emotions - none of them very good.   

According to Joshua Becker from “Becoming Minimalist”, doing so “is a decision that only steals joy from our lives. And is a habit with numerous shortcomings:”

1.    Comparisons are always unfair. We typically compare the worst we know of ourselves to the best we presume about others.
2.    Comparisons, by definition, require metrics. But only a fool believes every good thing can be counted (or measured).
3.    Comparisons rob us of precious time. We each get 86,400 seconds each day. And using even one to compare yourself or your accomplishments to another is one second too many.
4.    You are too unique to compare fairly. Your gifts and talents and successes and contributions and value are entirely unique to you and your purpose in this world. They can never be properly compared to anyone else.
5.    You have nothing to gain, but much to lose. For example: your pride, your dignity, your drive, and your passion.
6.    There is no end to the possible number of comparisons. The habit can never be overcome by attaining success. There will also be something—or someone—else to focus on.
7.    Comparison puts focus on the wrong person. You can control one life—yours. But when we constantly compare ourselves to others, we waste precious energy focusing on other peoples’ lives rather than our own.
8.    Comparisons often result in resentment. Resentment towards others and towards ourselves.
9.    Comparisons deprive us of joy. They add no value, meaning, or fulfillment to our lives. They only distract from it.
So, as we look forward to this bright and shiny new year, let’s remember my most favorite New Years message:

Here are a few tips to writing your best story this coming year by NOT COMPARING YOURSELF TO ANYONE BUT YOURSELF

Make a list of your wonderful qualities and things you have accomplished.  No matter how big or small you have superpowers. A Superpower can range from having the ability to make people around you feel good to performing very difficult and life-saving surgery.  BOTH are equally important and both are wonderful.

Get out of competitive mode.  A competitive situation may arise (5K or a soccer game) but in general, life is not a competition.  Learn to be happy for the success and talent of others instead of turning it into a shortcoming of your own.  Feeling genuine happiness for someone for being good at something, winning something or excelling will make you feel good too!

Be grateful.  Doing so makes you stop and appreciate the wonderful things YOU have in YOUR life without taking into account what anyone else has.

And as Joshua Becker so wonderfully puts it...

“Remind yourself nobody is perfect."
While focusing on the negatives is rarely as helpful as focusing on the positives, there is important space to be found remembering that nobody is perfect and nobody is living a painless life. Triumph requires an obstacle to be overcome. And everybody is suffering through their own, whether you are close enough to know it or not.”
I have only recently found my Superpower and have stopped comparing myself to others.  I worked very hard, over the course of 25 years, to become very wealthy only to lose it all in a blink.  I went from a very important position with endless income to someone who had to rebuild the lives of myself and my two daughters from scratch.  I have found that the money, the home, the clothing, the trips, NONE OF IT MATTERS. And although I may now be one of the “poorest” people in my circle financially, I am the richest in other ways.  I have found that I make people happy, I have powers that have nothing to do with the material things that others who may be very wealthy do not have. They are mine alone and make me feel better about myself than that big home and important job and gigantic bank account.
Focus on being the very best version of yourself, on making those around you happy which in turn will spill tenfold into your life.  The only person you should be competing with is you :-) beautiful you.