Guest Contributor: Shannon Braasch, MA
Masters
Level Clinician and Outreach Specialist at Reasons Eating Disorder Center
I have to admit, I have been thinking about what to share
with you all for a while now. I wanted
my words to be profound and meaningful. I wanted it to be perfect. But I just couldn’t
seem to write anything that was “good enough.”
What I realized is that I need to be brave, put my thoughts down and
share them---without over thinking them or worrying if you will like what you
read. That is what I would ask of you; to be brave and have confidence in your
beautiful mind and put a voice to those thoughts, without worrying about
judgement or perfection. So I am here, to
lead by example, being brave and unapologetic. Because I am enough, and so are
you.
So there, that’s a topic; let’s talk about how we can be
unapologetic, brave, resilient girls and celebrate our enoughness.
No Apologies
I am not saying that you should never apologize—but just be
more aware of how you use an apology.
Apologies are meant to build trust and are an opportunity for us to own
and acknowledge when we have done something wrong. Apologies are a promise that
we will do better next time, and become ineffective and meaningless when we
break that promise. Apologies are
valuable when used in the right way. However, as girls, we find ourselves apologizing
for just being. We are made to feel guilty for taking up
space, for speaking up, for being noisy, for not looking a certain way and for
not feeling or thinking a certain way. I
want to encourage you to stop apologizing for your existence---use your voice,
speak your mind, take space, make noise, get dirty, make mistakes—and learn
from them. Remember apologies are to be
meaningful. A great first step towards being a no apologies type of girl is to be thoughtful with the words “I’m
sorry.” Notice when you say them and think about it---was it a meaningful,
trust building moment, or was it out of guilt for just being you?
Be Brave
My guess is these words are some that you have heard before.
There are even a lot of songs about showing up for ourselves and being
brave! Why? Because, it is important. Being brave doesn’t mean that you have to go
first, be the toughest, or show no fear.
Being brave means that you take a deep breath and stand up for yourself,
trust your gut, and make a choice; even if it not the “cool or popular”
choice. Bravery may mean stepping
outside of your comfort zone, and trying something new. It means that you are a no apologies type of girl and that you celebrate the things that
make you, well… you. Being brave means instead of hiding your feelings, you
honor them. Remember, it is okay to feel the feels, and is actually
super healthy for you! You can learn more about understanding your emotions here. Being brave means standing up for others and
helping them to be brave too. Brave girls help those who are hurting and lift
them up.
Own Your
Enoughness
I know enoughness
isn’t technically a word, but you know what, it should be! This is SO important!
Daily, girls [and this is true for all genders] are fed lies of what it means
to be good enough. Let me tell you IT IS
ALL CRAP! We are all beautiful, experience success in
different ways, and create and express ourselves in different ways-- all in
which are enough. Your self-worth is not defined by your body type, your sexual
orientation, your gender, what you wear, your skin color, where you live, how
much money you have, your family or your friends. Your worth comes from within and can be expressed through kindness,
bravery and love. So I encourage you
to celebrate and express your enoughness!
Trust Your Inner
Resilience
Please remember, that everything I am encouraging you to do
takes time and it is not easy-- so be patient with yourself. As I mentioned
earlier, sometimes it is about making the unpopular choice. This can lead to
discomfort and probably a few awkward and difficult moments. Our ability to
recover from difficult situations or “get through the tough stuff” is because
of our inner resilience. The stronger our resilience is, the quicker we can
bounce back from difficult situations. It is important to strengthen and trust in
your resiliency; you can read more about how you can do this here.
I want to leave you with this, being a girl is tough,
scratch that… being a human is tough!
We all mess up, stumble and have moments where we second guess whether or not
we are enough, and that is okay. Just remember it is at times like these where
you have to dig deep within yourself and continue to be kind [starting with
being kind to yourself], be brave, trust in your resiliency and love with all
of your heart. Because the truth is, you
are enough, we are all enough—and if we can all just be a little more
forgiving, loving and accepting, our enoughness will shine!
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