The best compliment I have
ever received also caught me off guard. Like most early twenty-somethings, I
had never really believed that I was old enough or worthy enough for somebody
to admire. In my mind, I had not accomplished any great feats or imparted some
profound morsel of wisdom. All I had done was attend class, study, and turn in
some homework – the same as any one of the millions of college students
graduating that year.
Schoolwork and tutoring was
always easy for me, so I helped my younger brother and sister with their
homework throughout junior high and high school. For this reason, everybody in
my family just assumed I would continue my education. The expectation felt so
ordinary that I associated it with any other simple task I was expected to
complete – on par with cleaning my room and feeding the dog. What I didn’t
think about at the time, was that I would be the first person in my family who
had the opportunity to attend college.
The ordinariness I felt
about my attending college is what made the compliment so extraordinary to me.
So unexpected. And I will always remember how I felt when I read that note from
my mom. Thinking about it later, I decided that I wanted to make somebody else
feel as amazing as I did in that moment. So rather than keep my feelings to
myself, I have made an effort to tell everybody how much I admire their
accomplishments – no matter the size of the achievement. Obtaining a Doctorate
degree in Molecular Biology is definitely worthy of veneration (not what I
did), but volunteering at a local animal shelter is also worthy of admiration.
At
first it was difficult to put myself out there. I am naturally pretty shy and
have a tendency to get lost in my own world. Once I even asked my aunt to “make
those kids be quiet, because I am trying to read.” But once I made the
conscious decision to be more vocal about the admiration and respect I felt for
someone, it was easier to overcome my shyness.
I reminded myself that the
purpose of the interaction was to celebrate their accomplishment, not bring the
spotlight to myself. This distinction also made me to take a step back and
think about how I could communicate my regard without making the other person
uncomfortable. If the person I admire is shy or introverted, I try to
communicate in one-on-one situations or send a card. On the other hand, someone
who enjoys being the center of attention may enjoy a more public form of
recognition.
I don’t know if my
expression of admiration has had as profound of an impact on someone as my
mom’s note had on me, but that’s okay. It is not the point. Over the years, I
have found that congratulating somebody is always better than saying nothing.
Is there somebody that you would like to express your admiration for? What’s stopping you? Guest Contributor- Timberly Maddox
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