The Unexpected Benefits of Being More Expressive of My Admiration of Others



The best compliment I have ever received also caught me off guard. Like most early twenty-somethings, I had never really believed that I was old enough or worthy enough for somebody to admire. In my mind, I had not accomplished any great feats or imparted some profound morsel of wisdom. All I had done was attend class, study, and turn in some homework – the same as any one of the millions of college students graduating that year. 

Schoolwork and tutoring was always easy for me, so I helped my younger brother and sister with their homework throughout junior high and high school. For this reason, everybody in my family just assumed I would continue my education. The expectation felt so ordinary that I associated it with any other simple task I was expected to complete – on par with cleaning my room and feeding the dog. What I didn’t think about at the time, was that I would be the first person in my family who had the opportunity to attend college.




The ordinariness I felt about my attending college is what made the compliment so extraordinary to me. So unexpected. And I will always remember how I felt when I read that note from my mom. Thinking about it later, I decided that I wanted to make somebody else feel as amazing as I did in that moment. So rather than keep my feelings to myself, I have made an effort to tell everybody how much I admire their accomplishments – no matter the size of the achievement. Obtaining a Doctorate degree in Molecular Biology is definitely worthy of veneration (not what I did), but volunteering at a local animal shelter is also worthy of admiration.

At first it was difficult to put myself out there. I am naturally pretty shy and have a tendency to get lost in my own world. Once I even asked my aunt to “make those kids be quiet, because I am trying to read.” But once I made the conscious decision to be more vocal about the admiration and respect I felt for someone, it was easier to overcome my shyness. 



I reminded myself that the purpose of the interaction was to celebrate their accomplishment, not bring the spotlight to myself. This distinction also made me to take a step back and think about how I could communicate my regard without making the other person uncomfortable. If the person I admire is shy or introverted, I try to communicate in one-on-one situations or send a card. On the other hand, someone who enjoys being the center of attention may enjoy a more public form of recognition.

I don’t know if my expression of admiration has had as profound of an impact on someone as my mom’s note had on me, but that’s okay. It is not the point. Over the years, I have found that congratulating somebody is always better than saying nothing. Is there somebody that you would like to express your admiration for?  What’s stopping you?  Guest Contributor- Timberly Maddox

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