Self-Worth Isn't Limited by my Imperfections

To me self-worth means knowing that who I have been in the past, who I am currently, and who I will be in the future, isn’t limited by my imperfections. This month, leading up to Self-Worth Awareness Day (SWAD) on February 26th, we are asking you to tell us what self-worth means to you, along with posting a self-portrait for our photo collection we are calling “Sparklers Ignite.” Planning for and executing the SWAD campaign every year is always very emotional for me. It causes me to revisit the emotions that led me to start the Shimmer Sparkle Shine Project. I think back to what I thought about myself during my terrible middle school years, and it just breaks my heart to remember what I thought about myself. Yet, while preparing for this years campaign, I caught myself questioning my self-worth without even realizing I was. I want to share this experience with you. Every year for the campaign we make a video for our YouTube channel that describes what SWAD is about and discuss our contest. When making this video, I went to reference last year’s so I could make sure I follow the same basic concept. You see, this year I started running, eating less and lost 50 pounds. Therefore, when looking at myself in this year’s video, compared to the one from last year, I look really different. I started showing my roommates the comparisons and I was saying things like “thank goodness I lost that weight. I am so much prettier now.” I stopped for a minute to think about it and was like WHAT AM I SAYING RIGHT NOW! I am going against the very message I am trying to promote! Even when showing my roommates the comparison, I was saying how at that time I didn’t realize I was that heavy and I viewed myself as beautiful. If I thought so then, why don’t I think so now?! It hit me... I generally don’t struggle with self-worth in the moment, but do so when I reflect on the past; meaning that when I taped last year’s video I thought I was beautiful and full of worth. When I'm in the current moment and think back on myself from a year ago, I don’t find myself as worthy. I hope what I'm trying to say makes sense. I have always done this to myself; from comparing myself to last year’s video, to analyzing pictures of me as a geeky middle schooler in 7th grade. That is why to me, self-worth means ALWAYS seeing beyond my imperfections and knowing I have been full of worth at ALL POINTS IN MY LIFE. My battle is still forever ongoing, just like all of us, but this month in particular I want to stop being ashamed of my perfectly fine past self. When I watch last year’s video or look back on old pictures from middle school, I don’t want to cringe at who I was, I'd rather smile about what made me Shimmer Sparkle Shine. I want to see the glass half full, as opposed to half empty. This month, please join me in reflecting on where you stand with your self-worth and embrace on what makes you shimmer sparkle shine! I love you all SO much! Thank you for letting me share my message with you and for your support in making my dream come true.

With Love, Ciara

Middle School Photos