Meet Angelica...Our 1st Guest Blogger

The Shimmer, Sparkle, Shine Project is super excited to present our first guest blogger. Our hope for the future is to feature various workshop participants and volunteers who have experiences a change after participating in our workshops. Angelica was a youth speaker at our brunch this past summer, so we asked if she'd be willing to share her speech with our Sparklers. It's an honest portrait of her own self worth issues and how being a volunteer with the SSS Project has helped heal some of those wounds.

Let's start by sharing some photos of Angelica, that cover the past several years of her working with the SSS Project.

Here is the speech she delighted our guest with. Thank you Angelica for being so dedicated and for sharing such an important message with others in the CTA family.

I Can't Wear Red Lipstick because of My Acne

Good afternoon everyone. First off, thank you all for coming and supporting Ciara and her beautiful organization, The Shimmer Sparkle Shine Project. I am Angelica Nunez and it is with the utmost honor to speak to you today about the SSS Project, what it's like to be a part of the events, and how it has impacted me and others I know.

Both SSS and Ciara mean a great deal to me. Ciara and I were in Taekwondo together before the creation of SSS. That was four years ago. Now I am a first degree black belt and Ciara is in college doing bigger things. When Ciara first brought SSS to my attention, I thought it was brilliant. I was a little younger, but I found SSS fun and interesting and loved the way they taught. I loved how they wanted to show what other people thought of you didn't matter. They wanted to fix how girls see themselves. After participating in my first workshop, I knew I wanted to be involved. I had to wait because I wasn't old enough to really teach a part in an event. Believe me; teaching an agility class is not the same as teaching younger girls how to not degrade themselves, so I had to wait for time to pass. As it did, I started to grow up and I watch the world change its perspective. Photoshop started to become natural and birthmarks, moles, scars, stretch marks and a little more fat was frowned upon by society.

I remember the first lesson I taught, as a volunteer here at CTA, it was the  “Comfort In Your Own Skin” activity. We looked at the before and after pictures of famous women in photo shoots and then Ciara asked everyone what they thought when they looked in the mirror. When it was my turn, I smiled and said I thought I was beautiful. I said that because of the little girls but really (and I’m going to be bluntly honest with you) I hated myself. I felt disgusted when I saw my reflection and I blamed myself for looking the way I looked. It was absolutely the worst feeling in the world that I felt.

I know you're thinking, this 16 year old girl is crazy. How could she understand self hatred? She is too lucky to think this way. Just trust me, it was a sad day when I learned I didn't love myself. It’s crazy to think that I am only 16 and that I understand what hate is. I was too young to be this messed up, mentally. That I had so much hate towards myself that I would rather die than experience the rest of my life. I’m not talking about when you get mad at yourself when you misplace your keys or something like that. It’s sad that so many people go through this every single day, but still push through. Thankfully, that was almost two years ago.

Since I started to help with SSS, it has bettered me and taught me self worth. I learned that what skin I am in now, is okay and to not let social media and others influence my opinion on myself. That I am great, I am smart, and that it is good to have confidence in myself.

SSS hasn't just helped me. It has helped others. My friends that struggle with the same things I did and the smaller girls that don't understand about loving themselves quite yet. You  are never too young to learn.

Sometimes that feeling can come back every once in a while. Like recently, I was scrolling through my Facebook; there was this video and it was called “The Don't Judge Challenge” where there was a girl who was wearing fake glasses, drew a uni-brow and fake gaps in their teeth with Sharpie, hair a mess, and red dots to represent acne. She then proceeded to put a dab of lotion on their face, cover the camera lens, then uncover it to show all of those “imperfections”, they had on seconds before, were gone. I’m pretty sure you've seen at least one of those videos. I still wear glasses or use thick contacts to see. I had gaps in my teeth before braces and I still have scars on my face from my acne. I was even told that I shouldn't wear red lipstick because the red color makes the scars more noticeable. And it really hurts to know that society frowns on what makes me, ME. How can the need for glasses and having acne be a bad thing? It's hard not to believe the things society secretly whispers into our ears. That is why SSS was created. Because Ciara found this as sickening as I did and wanted to stand up and say “No. This is not okay. This needs to change.”

One of the main five keys of SSS is “Making Your Own Mark”. I want all of you to take a moment right now and think this: What talents do I have? How can I use those to help others? Go ahead - think, and just answer yourself in your head. And if you can't think of anything right now… that’s okay! Because I know how I can help you with that. Help Ciara in her dream to change the world ONE GIRL AT A TIME. Ciara has found how to make her mark. Now it's your turn to make yours, starting today. Then every day I want you to give out only one compliment. Just one is needed!  It doesn't matter to who, but it cannot be “I like your shoes” or “I like your hair” I want it to be “I like who you are as a person” and “I love your personality” because those make them, them and what makes you, you.

You know, I made a bucket list after I began to feel good about myself. Get a tattoo. Publish a novel. Go to a Zedd concert. Pass the first round at Nationals for Taekwondo. I might have to wait a while to cross those off but “influencing the younger generation” can be marked off today.

Thank you. Everyone, raise your cup to Ciara and to the Shimmer Sparkle Shine Project and the work to   come for many more years.