I Am Not What Happened To Me

Hi Sparklers,

This blog post is going to be a little personal, probably more personal than my daughter Ciara (aka the SSS Founder) would like, but I really do feel compelled to share the real struggle behind self esteem  and the long term effects.

Ciara posted this photo of the Shimmer, Sparkle, Shine last week as a way to boost stories about transformation in one life and how you can take a negative and turned it into a positive. 

 When I personally look at this photo, I have nothing but love for that little girl. That little girl was one of the smartest and most in tune kids around. She was thirsty for knowledge and not afraid to seek it in any way imaginable. Her generosity was amazing and her gift of charity endless. That old soul made her a friend, confidant and often a companion to many adults. Many times, it was just circumstances that landed her in that position. As weird as it was to some, it was her haven from the bullying she was enduring and I'm ever thankful to the teachers, church leaders, family and friends who filled those roles. She wanted more then anything to make friends in school and have a bestie, but it never really did play out that way. Friends came and went, she made do, but never really made a connection or meaningful friendship in middle school.

When I find her lacking in self esteem, even today, I'll remind her she needs to take her own words at heart and she'll kindly remind me she's not perfect and still has to work on these issue often, even sometimes on a daily basis. As a 46 year old woman I get it, there are things in my mind that were planted at that same age, that have never left. It's sad, that often we are beat down at such a young age and never really do recover from words. WORDS....Some small, some not. Some may sound insignificant at the time, yet they pierce our heart so easily.

She looks at that photograph and wants to cringe. She hates it, because deep down inside, she still believes all the labels others attached to her all those years ago. It just so happened that on that same day I had posted a photo quote to Facebook that could very well apply to her mind set in that moment.

I challenged her and I challenge you, to go back to a particular time that makes you uncomfortable. Put the negatives aside and really focus on what else was going on in your life at that particular chapter in your life. Take the time to look at photos, maybe go through old journals, ask family and friends to help you reminiscent about positives during that period of your life. Maybe those positive images over time, will help replace the negative ones.

Love You All,

Sparkler Mom

Michelle