Hey there Sparklers!
Today I wanted to blog about something
that hits home to me right now, and is something a lot of girls
unfortunately struggle with. This problem is still loving yourself,
despite what your current relationship status is. In the community
and culture around my college town and amongst my peers, there seems
to be a lot of pressure and emphasis placed on finding “the one.”
When everyone around you is getting hitched and finding their life
companion, it can get difficult to not think that there is something
wrong with yourself. After another recent romantic disappointment I
started venting to one of my best friends about how I don’t get why
the boys I have dated don’t see something worthwhile in me to stay
around or treat me right. Amongst her encouragement she sent me a
link to this article that I would encourage you to read as well.
It discusses the importance of
“self-love” and how only once you fully practice self-love can
you open yourself up to be loved by others. Sometimes people have the
misconception that because I started this organization that I have
this whole self-love and confidence thing down, but really I struggle
with my self-worth and confidence just as much as anyone else. It is
something I have to make a conscience effort about every day. With
all this being said, the author of the article outlines 6 things one
can do to develop and strengthen their self-love. I want to share
these 6 suggestions with you, along with give my own commentary on
where I stand with this step in the development of self-love.
1. Extreme self-care means doing
what strengthens your mind, body, and spirit.
One of the most memorable quotes in one
of my favorite shows (Parks and Recreation) is “Treat Yo’ Self.”
Treating yo’self means exactly what the author is suggesting above.
Taking time to focus on me, and temporarily forgeting about my
commitments. This was something I never used to be good at. As I have
gotten older I have realized the importance of recharging one’s
personal batteries, and taking me time. Personal time can differ from
person to person, but to me that is taking a break from social media,
my cell phone, and doing something crafty or being lazy and catching
up on movies and TV shows.
2. Your most important commitment is
to honor yourself and your needs.
Often times we (myself included) place
everyone else in front of ourselves. We can’t do this, and as I
have sadly learned that means saying no on occasion so you can focus
on making sure yourself is taken care of. I still have the hardest
time saying no to people, but the times I do say no to take care of
what needs to be done, I feel so much better about myself and my
potential as a being.
3. Your emotional well-being does
not depend on any external circumstance.
This is one step on my journey towards
full self-love that I am far from mastering. I am very sensitive to
how others feel, and unfortunately it causes me to absorb what others
are feeling. I struggle with the fact knowing that not everyone I
come in contact with is going to like me or want to be my friend. It
doesn’t mean there is something wrong with who I am, and it
certainly doesn’t mean I should let it warp my attitude. I really
like when the author of the article says, “I can’t control the
way other people act toward me, but I can reframe my belief system to
better align with my own self-image.”
4. Making peace with your past paves
the way for a rewarding future.
This is probably my BIGGEST struggle in
my journey towards reaching my full capacity of self-love. I have a
hard time letting go of memories and people. When bad things happen I
like to think of it is karma and deserved for my past mistakes, when
I should not have this mind set at all. Most of all, to me
personally, letting go of my past means letting go of toxic people
and not bringing them with me to my future. I have a hard time
letting anyone go, especially if they were close to me at one point
or another. Sometimes those people have to be left behind in order
for a fulfilling future to occur. I have gotten better with this, but
I still struggle with it, and I hope to improve on it.
5. Speak and treat yourself with
kindness.
This one is
pretty simple, yet one of the hardest to master. We are our own worst
critique, but if we don’t treat ourselves with respect we can’t
expect other too as well. We set the standard for how we want others
to treat us. If you want to be treated well by others, treat your self
well first.
6. Trust your intuition; it will
guide the way.
More times than not, our intuition is
right. We just allow our emotions and personal desires to get in the
way. Trusting your institution is a way of trusting yourself. Trust
is what builds any relationship, including a relationship with your
own self.
I can’t promise to never allow my
relationship status (or lack thereof) to bring me down, but I can
promise to work on building a relationship with myself and embracing
my self-love. As my favorite book (Perks of Being a Wallflower) says,
“We accept the love we think we deserve.” I need to love myself
unconditionally and hold myself to a high regard so that hopefully
one day when the right one does come along, they can love me the same
way I love myself. I vow to never question my self-worth because of
what my Facebook profile may or may not say. I hope all my sparkles
can continue to grow in their personal discovery of self-love.
With Love,
Ciara
Comments
Post a Comment