As human beings we are often ignorant of all the good things around us
and only notice them when they disappear. One of these “things”
is a good friend and I’m lucky enough to say I have multiple. Good
friends are extremely hard to find; you never know when you’re
going to run into one. It’s almost like searching for a gold nugget
amongst rock and you’re bound to find more rocks than gold. The
rocks we find are bad friends and they are all too common. Sometimes
we hold onto some of these rocks thinking that they are gold but the
rock eventually loses its shine, revealing that it was just a rock
after all. Sometimes even when we know it’s a rock, we hold onto it
because we’d rather have something over nothing. In a society where
it’s better to be in a group than alone we’re drawn to bad
friends because at least it’s better than being known as a loner.
But why do we put up with this idea? Why do we want quantity over
quality?
One
of the stations we have at our workshops is centered on choosing good
friends over bad friends. We have the participants brainstorm all of
the traits of a bad friend; selfish, not caring, mean and rude are
the most common traits they come up with. When asked about how these
“friends” made them feel most of the participants say that they
were unhappy with the friendship. Their bad friends didn’t make
them feel good about themselves and ended the friendship with them.
When we talk about identifying and eliminating bad friends,
everything seems so obvious and easy; if they’re not good for you
then drop them. The issue with this is that it’s easier said than
done, especially if you’re young.
We
live in a culture where people think numbers define their lives, one
of those crucial numbers being how many friends you have. I’m
slightly dating myself when I say this, but I remember being a
teenager during the great age of Myspace and being OBSESSED with my
Myspace friends. I didn’t care who my friend on Myspace was; I just
wanted that friend count to be as high as possible. Then of course
there was the lovely friend ranking system that was present. I
constantly checked my friends’ “top friends” lists to make sure
I never dropped in the rankings. Then after I was done making sure I
was still a “top friend” (even for people I hardly knew) I spent
a great deal of time deciding who my “top friends” were. Looking
back on it now, I find it absolutely ridiculous that I spent so much
time caring about people that I never even talked to.
It
wasn’t until I was an upperclassman in high school when I realized
who my real friends were. I stopped hanging out with those who I
didn’t like and my concern over the number of friends I had become
irrelevant. I had awesome adventures with the friends who did care
about me and my inner circle of friends got smaller. I met even more
of these amazing friends in college and now I hardly even remember
that Myspace was a thing.
The
moral of the story is to try not to make numbers define who you are
and how you feel about yourself. If you don’t think one of your
friends is good for you then it’s probably best to end the
friendship. Even though you might have fewer friends, the ones you
will have should make up for it. If not, keep on searching for that
gold! In fact, you should never stop looking for good friends.
There’s always room for more friends, especially if they’re as
awesome as you! For those who haven’t found those good friends yet,
I encourage you to keep trying and don’t let the idea of being
unpopular lead you to befriending bad friends. Don’t be afraid to
get rid of those rocks, they’re only weighing you down and taking
up space that could be used for gold nuggets.
There
are plenty of gold nuggets out there so stay positive, remember to
love yourself and happy searching!
Marissa
Comments
Post a Comment